I sometimes wonder why I am the one who feels the need to be strong. To be the one who is there when you need them the most and why at the same time it seems as though I'm the one people want around the least.
I'm feeling down today and I don't know why. I've dressed in bright colours to try andcheer myself up and I'm even supposed to be doing something with Lisa tonight so it should be good times.
I can't stop thinking about it him and it tears me up inside. I know he's a jerk and I know I deserve better and that maybe I made the wrong choice when I gave him my number back in October but how could I not?
Didn't I owe that to myself? I had to find out...all I found was that my feelings for him were just as deep as before and his for me went just as shallow.
I still Love him. I can admit that. I can't bring myself to hate him. I did that once before and I realized that it only brought me that much closer to him. Made me feel that much more in love. I've accepted it but I won't be able to forget what's been done.
I just wish I had had the courage to tell him that I still loved him. And yet I'm glad that I didn't.
I almost cried the other night. I was thinking about him so I turned over hit my bedside lamp (which turns it on) and picked up my book. I read a chapter and yet didn't read it, I put the book down touched my lamp softly grabbed my pillow and clung to it for all I was worth.
I didn't cry. but I'm beginning to wonder if that pillow is going to be the only thing I have to hold on to.
EroticFae
|| by Fae ||
2:28:00 PM |
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Untitled
She ran through the darkened corridors of the ancestral home. 'Positively Archaic!' Sarah Jane thought to herself as her socked feet slapped against the icy stone floors. She could feel his presence all through the home. He had slimed his way through the bedooms and the kitchen, the library and the bathrooms finally catching her in the study trying to fix the books.
He'd been following her for months and she had never known, he'd been watching her and she'd never known. He'd watched shower and dress, even make love with people. He was done watching. He'd come for her. Tonight she would be his.
He stalked her through the house, flinching as the thunder and lightening clashed out side. No neighbours for a few kilometres no one would be able to her, see the things he had planned for her; and he had some things planned for the night, and it would last all night.
He heard her fall down the stairs, she'd stepped on the nails he had placed there had cried out and when she had reached the bottom of the stairs he was there waiting for her.
The knife glistened in his hand and he grinned at her.
"Hello Gorgeous," and she knew, tears started falling down her cheeks and the knife slid in, smooth like it was cutting warm butter and he felt the serrated edge hit the rib. She cried out again and as he stripped her of her clothing, the room faded to black.
EroticFae
|| by Fae ||
8:23:00 PM |
