i was so looking forward to this weekend and although I still had a fairly decent time a few things maged to happen that basically turned it from a sunshiny day to a day full of gloom and doom

let's see first i was told by one cousin that another cousin was talking about me being clingy and obsessively scary about boys when i like them granted these cousins are in the midst of a fight and i quite agree with the cousin who told me of the talking behind the backage's point of view this added knowledge though unnecessary to sway my opinion was mildly hurtful even though it was told with the best of intentions so says she

the next bad thing to happen this weekend was my Great-Aunt Bernice passed away on saturday morning at 7 am talk about turning what was supposed to be a stress free relaxing weekend into the shitest weekend of the year


although im sure that wasnt her intention (please note that was sarcasm and my severly disturbing sense of humour)


so we had her funeral today and it was done basically to her specifications she had everything paid for and laid out and prepared so really all my Aunt Anne had to do was sign some papers and then it was done it was as nice as a funeral service can be although quite honestly the reverend who did the service for my father (and also married my sister) was much better than the one who did Aunt Bernices she was buried in the same cemetary as Daddy was and most of Dad's family right beside her husband ralph whom I had never met as he passed away in 1976 and I was born in 1983. It's vaguely intreesting because the family is all pretty well buried in the same row except for Daddy who was buried on the other side of the lot under a pine tree He loved Pinetrees.

It was hard.

The last time I was at the cemetary with that many people was five years ago this past july when we buried my father.


When he left he opened a gaping hole in my heart that's slowly been closing and healing over the years and now that Aunt Bernice is gone it's torn it open again. My sister said it best:

"Everytime someone in this family dies it feels like I'm losing a piece of my father all over again!" but my mom just looked at her and told her to look at her children in particular my nephew and said

"As long as you have them to look at you will never lose your father,"

It didn't help as much as she thought it would

|| by Fae ||
5:07:00 PM |