My co-worker and his girlfriend and I roadtriped today. We went to Niagra Falls and to put it nicely had an interesting day. Very interesting.

It started out with Billie* almost getting us into one doozy of a car accident on the way there while she tried to open her coffee on the freeway. Not the smartest decision but it made my co-worker, no not the Human Vacuum guys but ermmm....Ted...Billie and Ted and uh...EroticFaes Excellent Adventure...*I'm smiling widely like I'm about to burst out laughing....it may actually happen by the time I'm done.* scream like you don't want to hear a guy scream. A.K.A. Girly-like. I wasn't fazed. Perhaps that says something about my driving abilities? Naw.

Next was the Butterfly Conservatory. Which was absolutely amazing. Beautiful and I want to own some of the plants they had there they were freakin' gorgeous. Notice I say plants not flowers. Plants require less maintenance. I'll have pictures soon. I need to develop them and then scan them and link it all up. Hopefully they turned out. Nothing very...ohhhhh wait. Yes something very interesting did happen. Albeit before the butterflies.

We stopped at the Btterfly Café to use the 'pee room' as Billie calls it and well...first they had the stupid Tissue toilet paper...the ones that make you feel like you're using 'Kleenex' and then...*giggling,* it's horrible but hilarious! Billie was in a stall which didn't lock properly and some lady started to push the door open on her..*laughing* oh god....all she said was "The door doesn't lock properly" and the stranger said "Oh I'm so sorry. I didn't see anything honest!" I didn't think I'd stop laughing when I saw Billie's face. She was dying from holding the laughter in. It was crazy we were laughing so hard we couldn't tell Ted what had happened until later and even then it was laughter all around. Well it's funny to me.

Then what happened? Oh we parked the car and went to eat lunch but that was unexciting......oh wait no no. We ate at Denny's. I ordered French Toast Cause I could and I love it. At least when it's not raw in the middle I do. Raw egg...my salmonella anyone? I had to send it back and when I got the new stuff....well they hadn't dipped it long enough for the egg to soak properly and so tasted like warm bread in the middle. That's my bit of stupidity for the day to go with Billies almost car accident.

Next was Frankenstein's Haunted House. We got a deal...$5.95 instead of the regular $7.95. It wasn't peak hourse and they weren't making enough money and we got suckered in like marbles in a vacuum. It was interesting. We all paid....we stood at the entrance staring into this gaping hole of darkness and I started laughing uncontrollably. Just looking into the pitch black...so black you can't see your hand two inches from your face kind of black and laughing my damn ass off. Me scared? Never. Billie backed up and said "Can I get a refund?" Ted went over and pulled her in.....we made Ted go in first. We Couldn't see anything until we saw the stairs all lit up. There was no where else to go but up. The Stupid people in movies always run upstairs. We were smarter. We walked very slowly. With the man in fr-...oh no by this time...the big strong manly-man Ted who can benchpress 195 lbs has picked me up and placed me in the front! Me!? 4'11" me! Like I'm gonna save his sorry ass. It's just stairs. I could see the top....just not around the corner. We keep going up. at the end of the hallway at the top theres a blank screen and a button on the wall with two ways to walk left or right. there were lights to the left and a dark hole in the right. I didn't go right. I didn't go left. Did I say I was smart earlier? Oops. I pushed the button and a scene activated as the guy jumped out of the wall. We all screamed and I just about fell.

I never said I was brave but hey I was in the front. After that I tried whatever I could to keep Ted from putting me in the front. It was easier after we met the nice strange french people going through the house as well. The guy laughed at everything and his girlfriend squealed and clung to him. The three of us just clung for dear life. I don't remember much else until all of a sudden I'm in the front again and I walk around a corner and the-......ohhh there was this other corner none of us wanted to walk down the hallway cause there was a black shape in the middle I thought it was a person who was gonna scare the shit out of me. I ran to the back. we got through that part and it ended up just being something...weird. Anyway the next really clear thing I remember is walking around a corner with a pack of people behind me and I scream maniacally because there's some person with a goddamn 'Scream' costume on. Did I expect a person to just be standing there? No. Was scared. You couldn't tell cause I was laughing so freakin' hard. I scared evreyone else with my scream. No one wanted to walk down the hallway so we went down a dead end...turning our backs on scream man. We do have our moments of stupidity don't we? I turn around and no I'm the only who realizes he wants us to go down towards him. "This way guys, he's motioning us this way...." I started walking to him with Billie clinging to my arm and Ted around somewhere. I turn the corner and there he is again with this freakin' glow in the dark sword coming out of the wall at me....what did I do? Scream. And then Jump backwards. Fucking Christ he was just out there.....then he started talking to me...."That way...it's mirrors..." I back up. No fucking way, I'd knock myself out if I went first. The french couple went first then Ted with Billie and I clinging. I turned around. He was Freaking following us!? Waving the sword at us and walking to me with that nasty mask on. I hate that mask. We finally end up outside at some point after getting scared a few more times....mainly because Ted would push buttons and something would jjump out at us. Billie and I yelled at him. "Don't push the goddamn buttons!" oh I forgot to mention, the whole time scary scream man was following us I was telling him to back up...much like this "Back off scary man creature thing." and "The scary man is following us...Go away! Please go away?!" Brave me.

Next we wandered around town a little and ended up doing a maze thing which was a little lame but that's ok.

Then we did Ripley's Museum. It was really interesting. I found out that one guy went over the falls and all they found was his tattooed arm. Can you say Ew?

But there was this really crazy tunnel where it was revolving around the walkway and there was a crooked chicken picture at the end. Christ I thought I was going to fall over and it was so great we did it like twenty more times. Frontwards, backwards, not touching, running it was awesome. But the most exciting moment approaches....the moment I had been waiting for all day. The reason we went to Niagra in the first place (other than the fact that I had never been there before.)

Screamers.

Okay, first off even the gift shop area was creepy and I was so tempted to buy one of their athamés, (double edged knife used in wiccan ceremonies). So we ended up doing two attractions forr $20 instead of one for $15. Suckered like marbles into a Hoover. Screamers and one of their 4-D movies which was interesting but unimportant. What is important is the knowledge that the only reason Billie and I were going in was because Ted said he would stay in front the whole time. He shook on it even. Lying Rat bastard.

So we walk in and it's completely dark and we have to follow the red lights the whole freakin' time well as soon as we get in all we here is a voice saying to put the one in the blue skirt in the front. That would be Billie. Ted apparently didn't hear this (we learned this afterward,) and Billie and I just ignored it...we get no more than two feet in and some guy growls and says "Keep Movin" from our right side and then walks his fingers up my fuckin spine. Did I freak out? Of course. Why? I was on the far left. Can you explain that? It wasn't a pre-recorded thing either. so we all jump forward five feet. and stop. dead. Didn't the guy just say keep moving? Billie screams. (I later find out this is when a hand plants itself on her head.) Something happens at some point and I'm separeted from Ted and Billie. Me. Separated. Did I like this? No. I knew there was someone behind us because he scared us into jumping apart. I cry out "Billie!?" And get a "Eroticfae!?" (Of course it was my real name not really EroticFae) back from her and Ted is just snickering nervously. He's been screaming along with us two girls by the way.


I put out my hand and find Billie....what I would have done if it hadn't been her? or Ted? uhmmmm....Run away headlong into a wall and knocked myself out probably. We cling and find Ted and cling some more "Keep movin'!" the gorwoly man says so we jump, scream and walk forward following the red lights on the ceiling. Not necessarily in that order and only until we run out of red lights. That was scary. then of course we get a "Keep moving" But we can't it's a dead end. I'm breathing heavily. Billies freaking "It's a dead end! we're stuck and we can't get out and Ted is nervously laughing. "Keep moving!" "We can't! There no red lights!" A red bulb glows showing us the dead end...turns off....turns on....there's a doorway....shit.

"Keep Moving!" No problem I think until Ted picks me up...I mean picks me up physically and places mee in front of him like some goddamn shield. Okay so if I'm his sheild what do I get?

My purse. I ball it so nothing will fall out and start swinging. "Keep moving!" By this time Ted has pushed me into three or four walls and I'm sore. We're sorta lost cause we keep hitting walls. So I swing so we know where the wall is. A growl comes from in front of me and I Swing like a freakin' crazed woman. Whilst screaming of course. Something grabs at my foot. I flip out "Stay away from you scary scary werewolf man creature thing!" While swinging my purse. Ted has repeatedly said ow so I assume I've been hitting him as well. Purely accidental. Hey he's the one who put me in the front and at least I'm still moving.

"Put that purse down little girl or I'll take it away from you!" okay no sweat now what do I do? "Okay!" Walk forward inch by slow inch. Growls ensue and of course some more "Keep movin'!"'s. We walk out of a hallway I could tell cause...it felt like more air. Next thing I knew was there was bright light, metal bar type things and a padded wall being pushed through my chest. Mainly because Ted and Billie have squashed me into it. Later I found out it was a truck that chased us across the room. It was Honking so I knew it was some kind of a vehicle. The Honking stopped. It went black....we stayed where we are. "I can't do this I can't do this" Billie by this time I think is going to have an asthma attack. "JUst breath slow hon! You can do it."

"Keep movin!"

"Stay where you are back off moster man we're going!" I'm scared shitless.

We walk eventually we get to the end I see daylight....a chainsaw sound starts. No Fucking way. Ted takes off around the corner...it seemed like a lot longer because this was my thought process...

Chainsaw Sound...Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Blood. Gore, Yuck, Ted is moving Why is he moving? He's not moving run. run...I ran holding Billies hand. There had been an empty hole to the right and the exit to the left. Billie was in the back. The guy chased us out. I never felt or saw him. I heard the chainsaw sound, and two heart beats later we were outside breathing heavily and all laughing nervously.

There's five people waiting to pay to go in. Shit.

I probably look like a comlpete mess. I just turn to Ted.

"If you ever put me in front of you to use as a bloody shield again, I will KICK YOU!" And we all laugh and move on to the next attraction.

After that was just lots of laughing watching some glassblowing and getting some fudge and books and food. Then Coming home.

I think my satchel purse is my favourite. It comes in handy when you're in the dark.

|| by Fae ||
11:28:00 PM |