I have a Saturday off for once and I have been given a task. I have Ben wah (sp?) balls and other balls....the jiggly kind...JeN What are they called? Anyway I'm supposed to pick one of them and wear them at some point today. I think I'm going to use the jiggly ones cause I can hold those in....actually it's a matter of getting them in and then out...they hurt a little....too wide I guess....them not me. Jeez maybe I need more sleep.

I've told Him I've met someone sort of. I'm not sure if it's going anywhere or not but there's flirting and stuff going on so it looks hopefull *knocks on wood,* The guy I've met knows I have an online dom and....well he didn't freak out or anything he sort of told he had dom tendencies himself so...good bad I don't know.

I know how to interact with a guy when he's a friend and I know how to interact with a guy when we're making out.....not too hard there. but....mixing them? I don't know I screw it up somewhere along the line. Maybe I should just....give up on the wanting the sex stuff and just settle for the friendships....but I don't want to settle and I'm confused and stressed. And it's all the stupid human vaccuums fault. I swear to god if I could get away with it I'd follow him one night and kick the shit out of the stupid ignorant " I'm a man and so I know all. You're just a girl what the fuck do you think you know" boy.....So much anger....so much hurt....It's building almost like a physical thing inside me.

it's scary.

|| by Fae ||
12:22:00 PM |