So this last week has been borderline hell for me what with my cold, thinking I was going to be alone on Thanksgiving, and yes I know I wouldn't be left alone my friends would hav invited me to their place. The story is long, well not so long, and painfull. It boils down to the fact that I haven't spent a Thanksgiving, since my dad died, away from the cottage. That is the only place I truly feel connected to him and when I thought I would be without that comfort level, that certain security blanket, it was a tangible, real pain in my chest. I was almost having an anxiety attack because of it. It tells me one thing.

I haven't grieved properly. But I don't want to talk about that stuff right now.

I am going to my cottage, I get to wake up in five hours and shower and then leave. I'll get to be at the shoot and I'll probably even shoot, and lose. I'll get to go horseback riding and eat turkey and stuffing with gravy and cranberry sauce....home made cranberry sauce, homeade pumpkin pie...homemade all kinds of pies! Lemon Merangue, Pumpkin, cocnut Cream, Cherry, did I mention Pumpkin? *drool*

Mmm, lets see...oh yes, I'm planning on taking a whack load of pictures of the horses, maybe get my cousins to take some of me with the horse I normally ride. I can't wait.

I'll see all the different colours on the trees, feel the bite of winter in the air. God it feels so good to be up there at this time of the year. I'll be honest, until you've seen me around my family. You have no idea who I am. And afterwards....you'll be very confused.

On another note.

I've been thinking that soon when I go horseback riding I should wear the duotone balls, not yet! I'm definately not ready for that yet. But I think it could be interesting.

Yet again another note:

When you screw in a lightbulb, or for that matter any kind of a screw, the basic rule is 'righty-tighty, lefty-loosey'. Did you know Jugs are the opposite? And no I'm not talking about breasts for once....have I even talked about breasts on here before? *Shrugs,* Oh well, I'm sure you all know what I mean.


And now for the entertainment for the day/evening/middle of the night ....not that I haven't been trying to entertain you thus far but....oh I'm sorry, back to the point.

******


I left her standing at the car with her mom and the two dogs. It was well past midnight and the dark made it that much colder. The bite in the air made me walk that much faster.

I walk with both hands in my jacket pockets, each hand grasping a set of keys that have at least one large very painfull looking key on the ring. I don't know what I'm afraid of but it makes my heart beat faster. Cars drive by, their lights glaring at me angrily. One vehicle turns the signal indicator on, and moves into the next lane, I wait for it to go by before finishing the walk across.

I feel threatened.

I walk through the dark pathway leading to the alley, the light coming from the lamposts is dull and eeriely (sp?) orange. I hear the quiet voices of the two men down the way, they look over at me and try to hide the glowing ember, I can smell the pot from more than twenty feet away.

I feel the urge to ask for a hit.

I've never smoked it before so I ignore the urge and continue on my trek home. I walk down the four or five stairs it takes to arrive in the shadowy cat walk between two large houses. The wind speaks to the trees, and the leaves rustle in their foreign tongue. I catch my breath as wind rolls over me, I let it out when it's done and gone for the moment. It'll be back. Soon. I should walk faster, I keep telling myself I should have taken the car.

But I like the excercise, I haven't been to the gym in more than a week.

I walk past the house with the 'Power of Sale' sign in front. It even feels empty, like a ghost house, almost. I pick up speed and wonder why there are so few lamp posts on the street, the night is cold and eerie. It feels vaguely threatening and soon I'm stepping lightly up my steps. I keep an eye out for the spider living in our light fixture and I open the door stepping inside and locking it quickly. I'm home. I look at the clock on my telephone in the darkened kitchen. 12:35am.

It took me less than five minutes to arrive home tonight. I can do better.

******

EroticFae

|| by Fae ||
12:38:00 AM |