Ed. Note: I wrote this in the heat of the moment, I know I was feeling selfish and more than a little petty. I do not recant any part of it and
acknowledge that some it of may not be true though at the time it was written it seemed like it was and that is all that really matters. Parts of it still remain valid points and complete truth in my opinion and frighten me more than a little in that I have no idea where my life is leading me and that I seem to have only the knowledge that I am not where I am supposed to be at this time in my life. Some days I just wish my dad were here to talk to...



I sit here ready to burst in to tears, listening to a new c.d. I want to screeam and rant and rave because it's all just so not fair.

I'm hollow and empty and it's becoming the norm. I surround myself with things because buying stuff seems to make it better. If only for a little while.

I'm tired of being the crap under everyone's feet. I'm tired of being in the way, and not fitting where I so easily used to belong.

The Square peg trying to fit into the round hole has become the euphemism for my life. For me and I don't like it one bit.

I'm stagnating and rotting as a person in this cave of mine. I can't write anything half decent.

What I do write becomes bits and pieces of something that has no point, has no reason or rhyme. Fragments.

Like the way I feel. Parts of me are happy, the rest of me is bitterly sad. I'm twisting and writhing and becoming the wraith I wrote about so long ago.

My soul is slowly being sucked dry.

I'm not on the right path, I know that with every fiber of my being, and I don't know how to get off it. How do I change what I've become, how do I stop myself from becoming
so utterly lost that I have no way of returning to the person I know I can be again.

|| by Fae ||
12:27:00 AM |