So, I've realized that when I drive, I think. And I don't just mean drive to the store. I've spent the past hour and a half getting to my sisters so when I go for extensive drives on my own, I think....a lot...it puts things into perspective.

I don't like putting things into perspective. It's like putting a mirror in front of me and saying "What are your worst features?". It's disgusting.

I was listening to Wynonna Judds C.D. "What the World Needs Now (is love)" and of course being in the overly emotional state of the female kind I spent most of the drive trying not to cry.

Lime has told me to try to live not expecting that other shoe to drop, don't wait for it to happen and just live my life. So much easier to say it than to do it. I used to think that I was carefree and happy-go-lucky, easy going and generally easy to get to know.

How easy is to get to know someone when they distrust everything you say and do? It can't possibly be easy, I for one would want to drop that person as fast as possible, but it's hard to drop yourself...so to speak...? (Am I making any sense here?)

I pass on to you the lyrics of the song I fell in love with this past hour and will the carry on with my ....diatribe...?


Your Day Will Come
Lyrics by: Stephony Smith / Jeremy Stover

Pack up all your tears
Bury the past
Send them away
Don't let 'em hold you back
Love will find you again
You'll find another way to begin
And you'll trust in someone
Your day will come

Chorus
Throw it on the line
Let your heart break down
Know that at the right time
Love is gonna come around
Open up your soul and
Let the moment hold you
Don't push it away
Oh I know you know
You belong in the sun
Your day will come

Don't go back there
Don't tear yourself apart
Just listen to you
Remember who you are
Wait for true love
What's one more day
You'll find the one
Your day will come

Chorus
Throw it on the line
Let your heart break down
Know that at the right time
Love is gonna come around
Open up your soul and
Let the moment hold you
Don't push it away
Oh I know you know
You belong in the sun
Your day will come


Bridge
Pack up all your tears
Bury the past
Send them away

Chorus


I felt like she was speaking (singing?) directly to me...How do you bury past though? Especially when you feel like the past is all you have of someone...if you let that go then you have nothing. And you can never get it back again? And when that is gone, you are truly alone.

I gave up on God. The people I know that believe in God, as far as I know have never had anything but bad things happen to them. Death, illness, disability, abuse, addictions, divorce. To name precious few. *Note the sarcasm and vague feelings of anger*

So I believe in my family and friends. Those that are in my life and try to force it into my thick skull that they won't be going anywhere. That they'll be sticking around for a while yet. Those that can and have said that they love me. I also believe in those that have passed on. Mainly because there are moments where I can feel them and I know that they're ok, and that they're telling me I'll be ok.

But hell, maybe that is just a sign of insanity.

I need to make a change with the direction my life is taking. Maybe it just means taking a vacation and getting out of town for a day or two. Maybe it means changing jobs, or moving out of town. I don't know. I don't know what I can do.

I do know what I can't do. I can't go on without trying, and no one's gonna stop me.

(No One's Gonna) Break Me Down
Lyrics by: Brett James / Hillary Lindsey / Angelo

Road blocks, red lights
Dang brakes, that's life
People say what they want
I don't care it's just talk

Go, let's start this show

Chorus
I ain't gonna let 'em hurt me now
They ain't gonna break me down
I ain't gonna let 'em kick me around
No one's gonna take my crown
Hey nothin's gonna break me down

Got my back against the wall
Cities rise, cities fall
Reckless ride, wild abandon
I'll be the one left standin'

No you can't roll this stone

Repeat Chorus

Bridge
I might trip up and I might stumble
But you won't ever see me crumble
Oh, oh?

I ain't gonna let 'em hurt me now
They ain't gonna break me down
I ain't gonna let 'em kick me around
No one's gonna take my crown

Repeat Chorus

Nothin's gonna break me down

EroticFae